Billy Masters 04.02.26

"Hudson told me, 'The other guy was good, but Connor felt like he was going to pin me down and..."

- Heated Rivalry creator Jacob Tierney explains how Storrie was cast. Why do straight guys always fantasize about this?

What a week it was. As we go to press, one headline caught my eye: "Thieves steal 12 tons of KitKat chocolate bars in Europe". Isn't that the type of story you'd click on? Well, you don't have to — I did. The truck transporting the bars left Italy but never arrived in Poland. Apparently, like all valuables, the bars are traceable via a "unique batch code". Nestle, which makes the product, made this statement: "Whilst we appreciate the criminals' exceptional taste, the fact remains that cargo theft is an escalating issue for businesses of all sizes." Gimme a break.

Last week, the First Lady posed alongside an animatronic creation from Future AI which is touted as a revolutionary (if unaffordable) way to help students. I was horrified. I couldn't believe that this cold, mechanical being with no feelings or emotions was standing there in the White House — next to a robot!

A couple of people from our community faced health struggles that led to hospitalization. First up was Sam Champion, who got a surprise after a nuclear stress test (and you thought the nukes were in Iran). The results were concerning enough to have him undergo treatment in the cardiac catheterization laboratory at Mount Sinai Medical Center in NYC. We hear he's doing well and wish him a speedy recovery.

Then there's Perez Hilton, a name I haven't heard in eons. He posted some troubling photos from Southern Hills Hospital in Las Vegas (he moved there in 2023). Apparently it started with a bout of the flu — which fells so many seniors these days. Believe it or not, it was the medication which led to a 21—day hospital stay. "I have been taking all this medication without food for weeks, I developed an ulcer then a perforation and then sepsis." See? Let that be a lesson to you all — never deny yourself food! Perez had laparoscopic surgery, then had fluid in his lungs, and then a heart issue, and finally, catheterization. None of it sounds pretty, but it had a curious result — Hilton decided to enroll his kids in Catholic school. A curious choice. I'd suggest eat more, pray less. But I'm practical that way.

There's a mixed bag of news from my pal, Chip Arndt (of Chip and Reichen, the first gay winners of "The Amazing Race"). Last May, he found out he had HPV—positive cancer affecting his tonsils, throat and back of tongue. He recently related his experience in detail on Facebook which included intense chemo and radiation treatments. Results have been promising, and he hasn't lost his sense of humor: "I'm feeling great even though I've lost 40 pounds through it all. Chemo is very effective to losing weight but not a recommended go-to method." In a post—surgical post, he shares a philosophy: "Reminder: We all have our shite and we also have each other! Never feel you're alone or a burden to others. When in doubt just reach out and I promise that you'll be amazed with the support that follows!! PROMISE! Onward we go, together!!!" Team Chip all the way.

I don't know if this last item is a health concern, but Tiger Woods was back in the news for what appears to be a rerun. I don't have much to say, except I'd dissuade any of my readers from accepting a ride from him.

Last week, previews began for the Broadway revival of "The Rocky Horror Show". As you know, the production is led by a very sexy Luke Evans as Frank-N-Furter, who in the released photos seemed to be wearing a black Lycra, high-thigh cut bodysuit with a fishnet body stocking. But in the video we got from one of the first previews, we can see the show indeed ends with him in a sexy corset and a black leather jock strap which quite clearly shows his penis bouncing about. And, of course, you can follow the bouncing bob on BillyMasters.com.

We recently reported that Lea Michele will be leaving the Broadway production of "Chess" on June 21st (days after she wins — or loses — a Tony Award). When someone told me Lea would be replaced by a JoJo, I was appalled. Surely if there is anyone I'd like to see less in "Chess", it's JoJo Siwa. Therefore, I'm both pleased and relieved to report that the actual replacement is Joanna "JoJo" Levesque. This JoJo previously appeared on Broadway in "Moulin Rouge! The Musical" — although long after her new "Chess" co—co-star, Aaron Tveit, had left the show.

Picture it — Boston, 2019. Faye Dunaway starred as Katharine Hepburn in the play "Tea at Five" at the Huntington Theatre. She could have given a stupendous performance on opening night, but she was already loathed by everyone connected with the show — which is hard to do in a one—woman show. Let's just say the rehearsal period made the "Master Class" national tour look like a Disney show. After Faye allegedly slapped a crew member, the possibility of a Broadway transfer disappeared. Eventually, playwright Matthew Lombardo was able to see the absurdity of the situation and use it as a starting point for a new comedy — "When Playwrights Kill". This play is about a writer (the delightful Matt Doyle) of a play doing a pre—Broadway tryout starring a very difficult diva (the delicious Beth Leavel) who could jeopardize the entire venture. How can the situation be salvaged? You'll have to see "When Playwrights Kill" to find out. BTW, the stage manager is played by the ebullient Marissa Jaret Winokur. And in a moment of art—imitating life—imitating art, the world premiere takes place at the Huntington Theatre in Boston! It runs April 3rd through the 18th. Get your tickets at WhenPlaywrightsKillBoston.com.

We interrupt this column to bring you a message from a real diva: "It has been an honour to sing and entertain my fans for over 70 years...At this point of time, I'm sorry to say, that due to up—and—coming hand surgery, I will no longer be able to reply to fan mail. We kindly request for you to avoid sending vinyls, personal items and photographs, as we will be unable to post them back to you. Your support has been incredible. Every single letter I have received has been an honour. All my love, Dame Shirley Bassey." Such a cold finger.

Another diva is poised to make a comeback. Celine Dion is reportedly planning to return to the concert stage this fall. Prior to the pandemic and her Stiff Person Syndrome diagnosis, Celine was scheduled to do a series of concerts at the Paris La Defense Arena as part of her "Courage World Tour". So it's fitting that she's planning on fulfilling those engagements as her return. Last week, the City of Lights was canvassed with posters listing the titles of Dion's songs. We expect an announcement for the September and October concerts any time now.

Someone else is leaving the spotlight. Dionne Warwick claims that her latest release will be her last. "DWuets" is made up entirely of Diane Warren songs (Diane and Dionne both share the "DW" initials) and is produced by Warwick's son, Damon Elliott. But fear not, Warwick says while she's bowing out of more recordings, she plans to continue to do intimate live dates.

By the by, Dionne told our pal Sherri Shepherd that Teyana Taylor has been signed to a biopic about the singer's life. Warwick said, "After meeting her, I said, 'Oh, my, that's my alter ego.'" She also praised Taylor for speaking her mind and having no filter.

People have been asking me if Sherri Shepherd has any plans once her talk show wraps. She's in the midst of her nationwide comedy tour (the full schedule can be found on SherriShepherd.com). She'll also join forces with Robin Roberts' production company on a Lifetime film called "Angel in the Rubble", which is based on Genelle Guzman, who was the last survivor pulled from the 9/11 rubble. Sherri will not only be an executive producer on the film, she'll also star as Genelle. It will air in September to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the attack.

We have time for a very quick "Ask Billy" question. Darren in NYC asks, "I just caught the first episode of 'SNL UK'. Who was the cute guy who played Princess Diana?"

That would be Jack Shep, who is 25 years old and openly gay, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to any of my readers. He started out doing skits on TikTok as a teen and has been working steadily. He's the youngest cast member on "SNL UK" and, while he did several skits in the premiere episode, his "Shy Di" in "The Last Supper of David Attenborough" went viral. The following week he topped himself (if that's possible) by playing the former Prince Andrew. Needless to say, you can see both on BillyMasters.com.

When someone can play both Prince Andrew and Princess Diana, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Talk about range. Of course, you can find a whole range of content on BillyMasters.com — the site that is truly versatile. If you have a question, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before JoJo Siwa is cast as Grizabella! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.