Billy Masters 09.18.25

"It never got there...but everything else."

- Charlie Sheen, when answering Bill Maher's question about his role in gay sex—"Which were you?" Charlie clarified—"You mean when you're changing the fitted sheet and it says Top or Bottom?"


Violence is never the answer. And I say that as someone with a big mouth (you're welcome). If someone was going to be a target, I'd be at the top of the list. In 30 years, I've pissed off just as many as I've titillated. I own that, and am happy to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune—as long as they aren't real arrows (real slings are fine). I have taken issue with people and then run into them days later. But you know what's never happened? Nobody's ever taken a swing at me. The most violent act was when a gay celebrity couple threw a dinner roll at me. I mean—carbs! For the most part, people are civilized. Could we keep it that way?

Which brings us to Tyler Perry. I've not had any major interaction with him, so there is nothing personal in this story. We've heard it all before. Mogul meets hot cater waiter. They exchange digits. Cater waiter gets cast on the mogul's show. Mogul makes a pass. Waiter declines. Waiter is killed off the show. Nothing to see here—move along. Still, you may ask if I have a problem with any of that? Not really. If everyone's getting what they want, great. If someone isn't and they want to end the "association", that's also fine with me. Quid pro quo.

Since we've discussed the specifics of this story before, why are we going into it again? Because said waiter, Derek Dixon, did an interview with ABC News last week. It doesn't sound like he's backing down or even considering a settlement. He feels that he was sexually harassed on a job and is going forward with his suit. How do I feel about that? Again, fine with me. If a line was crossed and he legally prove that, great. But is it worth $260 million? That's a whole lotta pigs in a blanket. When asked how he came up with that amount, he said, "Part of that number is my lost job, my lost income, the loss of the show. The other part of that is a deterrent for...you know, how do you stop a billionaire who won't stop themselves from doing this." Thank you, Derek, but you lost me at the word "million". I call that a money grab. You got a job. You got paid for the job. You also got some additional "perks". You said no, and got fired. If you want to sue to get what you would have been paid for another couple of seasons, fine. $260 thousand sounds more reasonable to me. But millions? I don't think so.

Let's move onto another mogul—Andy Cohen. On his SiriusXM show, a listener commented on how good he looks and asked if he's been on Ozempic. So he went public and admitted that he's used one of those weight loss drugs to drop those pesky extra 25 pounds. Here's part of his response: "Given that for 20 years I have been asking people about their body regimens and that I've been pretty vocal about every time I go on a diet...I do think it would be completely hypocritical not to share that I did this summer lose a good chunk of weight by micro-dosing a GLP-1 all summer...I was really unhappy with my weight. My doctor and I talked about this last year, had recommended a GLP-1 a few times—to not only address what I was feeling about my weight, but treat plaque in my arteries and high blood pressure...and I finally said yes. And I have to say it really helped me with craving, which I was having a very hard time with, and really forcing myself to be more disciplined with my diet and with working out." Should you want to hear his full response, head on over to BillyMasters.com.

In a related story, Chelsea Handler has announced plans for some plastic surgery of her own. While I doubt she's a newbie to the scalpel, she just announced that she wants to have her ears done. While fingering her lobes, she said, "You see my ears? How they're a little bit flappy? They look like labia. They look like they've been stretched out like a labia?" I do hope she doesn't end up with a gay plastic surgeon—he'll have no idea what she's talking about. She added, "When I do my neck thing, I'm gonna get my ears trimmed." Finally, some body parts I recognize.

"The Bold and the Beautiful" is about to introduce their first gay couple. I'm surprised this is a first for the show because back in 2015, "B&B" had a transgender character! And that person MARRIED into the main family on the show! Sure, the trans role was played by a non-trans actor—but that's showbiz. As to the current situation, the soon-to-air gay couple will be comprised of Christian Weissmann—who plays Remy, a troubled stalker of one woman and a quasi-accomplice of another who has committed at least two murders and is suddenly back from the dead. Somehow he's going from that to actor Harrison Cone, who will be playing an aspiring designer. Stay tuned.

I'm sure none of you expect me to talk about Taylor and Kelce. You're far more interested in one of her backup dancers. Jan Ravnik previously appeared in Mariah Carey's 2020 Christmas special, danced behind Paula Abdul during her Vegas residency, and even did "something" with Bruno Mars. He was also named "Best Dancer of Slovenia"...twice! Obviously Melania wasn't in the running! This season he'll be heating things up on "Dancing with the Stars". Jan has bypassed the "troupe" and has joined the show as a pro paired with that Mormon chick.

Meanwhile on Broadway, "Oh, Mary!" has found a new star once Jinkx Monsoon departs the production. Starting on October 14th, Jane Krakowski will play the Widow Lincoln. Now stop that—I can feel many of you out there rolling your eyes. Who knows? She might be good. After all, she made her Broadway debut way back in 1987 as a member of "Starlight Express". Admittedly, that isn't helping the argument—unless Mary Todd suddenly decides to appear on roller skates! She's scheduled to be in the show until December 7th.

The fall has been littered with a handful of award shows. The MTV Video Music Awards found Ricky Martin with a handful of junk...his own! Getting ready for the show, the waistband of his trousers had split—an occupational hazard quite common for those of us who don't allow for much breathing room. Moments before going onstage, he was photographed on a sofa in his dressing room darning up those darn slacks. Happily (or not), he managed to stitch in time for his number. As I always say, waist not, want not.

Then there were the Creative Arts Emmys, where "Queer Eye" won its seventh award for Outstanding Structured Reality Program. What makes it more impressive is that the show has only been on for nine seasons. The one time it lost was last year, when "Shark Tank" snagged the award—and, let's face it...Antoni is no Barbara Corcoran! Those of you who got more than 200 in your math SATs are probably thinking, "But Billy—it's been on for nine seasons. You say it won seven Emmys and lost only once. How is that possible?" Well, seasons two and three both ran in 2018 (winter and summer)—so that year's win was for two seasons. The more you know...

As to the primetime Emmys, they just wrapped up moments before this was published. So, in lieu of an "Ask Billy" question, let us mention a few highlights. First, it must have been pretty steamy in that theatre—every forehead was glistening—unless there's some topical Botox I'm unaware of! It's always a bad sign when the least recognizable person in the room is the host. And, sure, I expected Michael Urie to get into "The Golden Girls" tribute. But Colin Farrell? Who knew? Polly Holliday was snubbed from the "In Memoriam" segment, even though Linda Lavin was given a place of prominence. I'm sure by the time you read this, we'll find out who those kids were walking the winners off stage. I'm assuming they have something to do with the Boy and Girl Scouts—either that or someone was casting a Benetton commercial (assuming Benetton still exists).

When I'm looking to score a box of Thin Mints, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. What more could you ask for? Misbehaving moguls, weight loss, plastic surgery, and breaking news. Why, it's like "60 Minutes"—without that pesky stopwatch! While I enjoy my cookies, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that is a favorite of many Emmy presenters (we're very discreet). If you want to discuss anything with me, send an e-mail to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Tyler Perry reveals he's microdosing. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.