Billy Masters 06.12.25
"Please welcome a man who makes everyone wet."
- Cynthia Erivo introduces the very moist Jonathan Groff during the Tony Awards. I think Keanu would agree.
Prior to my European vacation, I was helping a friend on a project at a large multinational corporation. Within days of my return, I was called down to HR. Before my trip, I had an encounter with an employee who knew me only casually. As a result, some words I said were taken out of context and I was asked to issue an apology. This is that apology: "I would like Miss X to know I meant no harm in any comments I made to her at our offsite event. In my community, there is no higher compliment than to tell someone that they could be paid for sex. Still, I can see where someone might be offended to be told, 'If you were a hooker, you'd make a fortune'. So, let me be clear—that was just a joke. In no way do I believe anyone would pay Miss X for sex. In truth, I'd be surprised if someone would even buy her dinner. I apologize for any emotional distress I caused in suggesting she would be given bus fare should she enter the world's oldest profession." Crisis averted.
Welcome to Pride Month. And you know it's Pride Month when Billy Masters has to take a sensitivity class to be taught that people don't aspire to get paid for sex...unless they're on a Bravo show! Pride Month or not, JoJo Siwa has confirmed that she is currently sleeping with a guy. Look, I don't care who she sleeps with. But, here's a tip—before you become a role model for future librarians everywhere, try sleeping with a man first to see if you like it.
US Navy Secretary John Phelan announced that the USNS Harvey Milk is going to be renamed. Why? According to a leaked memo, El Presidente wants to "reestablish the warrior culture." Is it just me, or is that the gayest thing you've ever heard? Sean Penn, who played Harvey Milk onscreen, said, "I've never before seen a Secretary of Defense so aggressively demote himself to the rank of Chief PETTY Officer." OK, that was a good one! The Navy also plans to rename such ships as the USNS Thurgood Marshall, the USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the USNS Harriet Tubman. I can kinda accept these changes. After all, I don't think many sailors want to go home and say, "I just spent six months on Ruth Bader Ginsburg!" And don't get me started on Tubman or Thurgood!
Perhaps because it's Pride Month, I've come across lots of online posts titled "Were They Trans?". And they've about people like Katharine Hepburn, Greta Garbo, Amelia Earhart, Boy George, and even Benny Hill! Not all tomboys want to be men, and not every fella in a frock wants to be female. However, it is true that Hepburn did go through a trans-adjacent period. She told Katie Couric, "I was called Jimmy, and I hated being a girl. I really hated it. I had three brothers, and I just shaved my head and thought, 'I'm a boy.'" What people skip is what she said next. "Inside, I never felt like Jimmy." That's why she wasn't trans. As to Earhart (who briefly lived in my hometown), her masculinity was more about her professional aspirations—goals that were distinctly unfeminine. I hasten to add there is no truth to the clothes making the man. But when a man is out of them, get out of my way!
For the past 20 years, many gay boys' clothes undergarments were emblazoned with the name Andrew Christian. Alas, that time is coming to an end. Christian just announced he's shutting down his atelier. "After more than 25 years, my hands will soon lay down the needle that has guided me through this calling...I began this journey as a scared gay kid from Fresno with nothing but a sketchbook and a dream. Fashion became my sanctuary—a place to exist, survive, and celebrate who we are. Every stitch told a story, every collection a reflection of our collective journey. As I retire, my heart is full of gratitude. To every LGBTQ+ soul who let me dress their truth—thank you. This isn't the end, just a new beginning. With love and pride."
What is Whoopi Goldberg's one-woman show without Goldberg? It's "The Whoopi Monologues". Lincoln Center's off-Broadway stage will house "The Whoopi Monologues" next summer. Rather than trying to find one woman to fill Whoopi's shoes, the cast will include five women—including Kerry Washington and Kara Young—who just made history by being nominated for a Tony Award four years in a row, and winning the last two!
The current Broadway revival of David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross" has been extended through June 28th. It was widely rumored that when the current cast departs (which includes Kieran Culkin, Bob Odenkirk and Bill Burr), they would be replaced by an all-female cast. While the idea of a female "Glengarry" has been kicking around for years, we hear Mamet has never signed off on it.
This column is being written before the Tony Awards are given out (except for the next paragraph, obviously). We all know that Cole Escola has brilliantly brought his alternative history of Mary Todd Lincoln to the stage in "Oh, Mary!". Surely his return to the show on April 8th was orchestrated to remind Tony voters not only of the play's merits, but also his capabilities as a performer. And obviously that worked. Now, Titus Burgess will return to the role on June 23rd for a six-week run. That brings us to the end of July, which begs the question—who will be the next Mary? After all, the show is slated to run through September. I would hope producers learned something from the Betty Gilpin debacle and avoid casting a cis female. But might I be so bold as to suggest someone like a Charles Busch? Certainly he'd look fetching in the frocks!
As to the Tonys themselves, I thought Cynthia Erivo did a fantastic job hosting—and what an opening number! But how hot was Radio City Music Hall? Everyone looked like they were sweltering from the start—particularly a hot guy on the aisle in the second row who looked like he was about to pass out! As always, there were high points, there were low points. A high point was Nicole Scherzinger, who was sweating and sensational. But I was so hungry watching her, I had to hit pause and get something to eat. I did make it back to see the "Hamilton" reunion, which was as relevant as ever. There were also some awful moments...but why dwell on them? Oprah didn't mind going low with a not-so-subtle barb at Patti. Despite basically anointing Audra, it was Nicole who came out on top. Speaking of which, who would have ever expected to see Cole Escola top George Clooney? And on live television! Then he thanked a random guy from Grindr. I bet George wouldn't have done that!
Could it be that one of those celebrated performers has become completely insufferable? Well, "become" is probably not the right word, because this person has always rubbed me the wrong way—despite obvious success. I was watching one of those actors' roundtables recently and this person dominated the proceedings, despite being surrounded by people who have paid their dues for years. Why is it that the least amongst us has the most to say?
This week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Steve in Las Vegas: "I just saw a photo of Jonathan Groff in head to toe leather. He looked so hot! What was that for? Some role??"
When Groff went to Beyonce's "Cowboy Carter" tour in New Jersey, he wanted to get into the swing of things with some...well, country regalia (if you're in a country filled with gay men). "It was cowboy theme, but also I wanted to feel a little gay," he told Jimmy Fallon. He was successful. He had on black leather chaps over black hot pants, a black leather vest, and a black leather cowboy hat. The outfit was provided by Go at The Leather Man on Christopher Street. Groff called it "baby's first chaps". When asked to explain, he said, "I'm the baby and those are my first chaps." So much to unpack. First, when you are over 40, you cannot refer to yourself as a baby—except on Grindr! When asked about the chaps, Jonathan said, "Oh my God, it's my new fetish. I learned so much about myself once I got into those chaps. It's the smell of the leather." Needless to say, you can check out Jonathan in and out of leather on BillyMasters.com.
When we're starting with Groff being wet and ending with him in leather, I think I better give him a hand and end yet another column. If anything untoward happens, I'll tell you all about it on www.BillyMasters.com—the site where I don't have to watch what I say. If you have a question for the uncensored moi, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Groff invests in a Chrysler Cordoba—with fine Corinthian leather! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.