Billy Masters 11/09/26
Share this Post:
Donald Trump and Mike Johnson.
Public domain photo via Wikimedia Commons.
"Yes, sure I'll accept them. Why wouldn't I?" - Donald Trump's response to a FOX News question about whether he will accept the results of all the races. Yeah, why wouldn't he? I guess we'll find out in January.
You've probably heard the saying - like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Well, let's call Mike Johnson the biggest rat of all (and that's saying something). After the Democrats took control of both the Senate and the House of Representatives, do you know the first thing he did? He picked up what was left of his marbles and went home. While he would obviously no longer be Speaker of the House, he could have been the House Minority Leader. But apparently he's in the minority of people who want that job. He notified his staff of his decision. So, what will he do now? Go home and play with himself, I suppose.
You'd think pretty much everything about the election has been said by now. But there's a story I missed. The Republicans took out an ad attacking Iowa State Auditor Rob Sand, who was running for governor. They learned that Sand previously had a modeling career. And, naturally, he has some risqué photos. JD Vance even referred to him as an "underwear model", as if that's a bad thing. Why are Republicans so obsessed with male nudity? Who do they think they are...Billy Masters? So, I did what I always do - did a deep dive. And you know what I found? Some shots in his portfolio which show considerably more skin than you'd see on an Afterschool Special (if, indeed, Afterschool Specials still exist). But were they lewd? Not really. Some of the photos showed up in attack ads, paid for by Sand's opponent, Zach Lahn. Result? Rob Sand is the new governor of Iowa. I guess sex sells!
Alas, sex wasn't enough to help Chris Gallant beat out the incumbent Nicholas LaLota for New York's First Congressional District. You'll recall that some of Gallant's private BDSM photos from the past went public - courtesy of the opposition, naturally. I think it actually helped Chris' campaign. It was a close race, but ultimately LaLota retained his seat by less than three percentage points. Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Chris Gallant.
Even though the Kennedy Center is shuttered, the Kennedy Center Honors are still slated to take place on December 7th, of all days. Some people say you shouldn't accept the honor under the current regime. But some people ain't me. I hold no ill will against Paul Anka, David Foster, Andy Garcia, David Mamet or Barbara Mandrell, who are this year's honorees. Any chance of coaxing Irlene and Louise out of retirement is OK by me. Perhaps the telecast (if there is a telecast) will be sponsored by White Rain!
Headlines can sometimes be misleading. Like this one: "Massachusetts Teachers Union Plans Drag Show at Conference Next Month". Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it makes it sound like a random drag show is popping up at a teaching event. In fact, the "conference" in question is their first LGBTQ+ Conference, where the theme is "Celebrating All with Pride". "Programming includes sessions on workplace safety, intersectionality, support for transgender students, and advocacy/lobbying training." The drag show in question is being presented by Mz. Clementine KuLayd and takes place on November 13th - if you're in the neighborhood.
Then there was this headline: "Todd Chrisley Became Escort at 18 After Working at Cheesecake Factory". I expected some grand revelation, a sordid story about a businessman paying to have a bit of Todd with extra whipped cream. But here's what Chrisley said on the Dumb Blonde podcast: "I was 18 and I ended up waiting on this table of women, and I got an $800 tip." After his shift, he spied a limousine outside. The chauffeur walked over to Todd and said, "My lady would like to speak with you, you were their server this evening." She lowered the back window and said, "Great service tonight...where are you heading?" He told her, and she said, "Get in, I'll drop you off." Todd finishes the story by saying, "Well, she didn't drop me off. Let's just say that it turned into a very quick encounter that I'm thinking as the sunroof was open, 'I'm banging this woman as we're driving through LA. This is every dream I've ever had.'" It sounds more like a dream he had and less like anything real that he experienced. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. BTW, he told this whole story while his gleeful "wife" was sitting there.
Didya hear - the musical The Fantasticks is heading back to New York. The original off-Broadway production ran 42 years and closed in 2002. It returned in 2006 and ran until 2017. Now it's back - but this time on Broadway itself. It opens on November 16th and is scheduled to run until February 7th (for now). This new production also has a twist - the romantic leading couple has changed from Matt and Luisa to Matt and Lewis. Yes, a same-sex couple. What hasn't changed is the role of the Narrator, called El Gallo. He'll be played by our very own Zane Phillips. As a preview, a video of Zane singing the iconic "Try to Remember" can be found on BillyMasters.com.
We have some good news for those of you who haven't had a chance to see The Rocky Horror Show on Broadway. It has extended through May 30th. And our very own Margaret Cho is taking over as the Narrator.
Since I'm still overseas, I have a few more theatre reviews to share. First is a new translation of The Cherry Orchard at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London's West End. This past summer, the Chekhov play was staged by the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford-upon-Avon with Helen Hunt, Kenneth Branagh and Bill Pullman. While it's odd to have two productions of the same play in quick succession, it seems the critics preferred the version I saw. This translation by Conor McPherson was witty, moving, and relevant to today's world. Kristin Scott Thomas appears in the pivotal role of Lyubov. I'm not a fan of her films, but onstage I find her incandescent. She presents enormous vulnerability without losing her steely resolve. And she has a faint patrician air about her that is reminiscent of a young Siân Phillips. The play was uniformly well-cast, but special kudos to Stephen Mangan, who made the role of the serf-turned-master into a multi-layered and conflicted character.
Then there was Jesse Tyler Ferguson in Tru. His tour de force as Truman Capote at the Menier Chocolate Factory was, in a word, exceptional. Another word that applies is magnificent. From the moment he made his entrance, he was no longer the Jesse I knew, nor Mitchell from Modern Family, nor even Mason from Take Me Out. His Truman was a completely different person - not a carbon copy of Capote, but a strong, well-thought-out portrayal of the man. It's clear why people enjoyed spending time with the famed writer and raconteur. In Jesse's capable hands, Capote was entertaining, insightful, dishy (to a point), self-reflective (to a lesser point), and vulnerable. The set design by Paul Farnsworth was also astonishing.
Noah Wyle was recently named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. But the issue also featured scores of other sexy men - sexiest new author, sexiest singer, sexiest soap actor, sexiest talk show host, you name it, they had it. One of those categories was for Sexiest Broadway Debut. When asked who she voted for, Kelly Ripa responded, "Bowen Yang, naturally, for Oh, Mary!". When it was pointed out that the list of candidates included her son, Joaquin Consuelos, for his turn in Death of a Salesman, she shrugged: "I don't see him the way others may see him." Hubby Mark chimed in, "That would be weird." I guess Joaquin didn't need their votes, since he won.
Our Ask Billy question comes from Larry in Florida: "What do you know about Joe Locke? I heard that he was dating his costar, Sebastian Croft, but they broke up because he was cheating. What's the truth?"
This is both an old and complicated story because neither guy is naming names. According to sources, Locke and Croft were secretly dating for close to three years while they were appearing on the series Heartstopper. Allegedly, they broke up back in 2023 under questionable circumstances. Recently, Croft gave an interview to Rolling Stone UK: "I was doing a play in Chichester, and I got broken up with over the phone... This two-and-a-half-year relationship ended that I thought was gonna last forever, as lots of people's first loves did." He says he used the experience as inspiration for his EP, The Great Forever, which comes out on November 13th. He hasn't named Locke, and Joe has not commented on the subject. But fans noticed that around the time in question, photos of Joe turned up alongside an OnlyFans creator, Nicholas Norris, known online as That.Gay.Guy.Nick. With all the speculation that Norris was a homewrecker, he issued a statement: "They had broken up before we even met, we just hung out a couple of times." You can check out the pics on BillyMasters.com to see what was hanging out.
When Chrisley is a pussyhound, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Frankly, I need more evidence than his word. Same with this Gay.Guy.Nick thing. A photo with someone is scant evidence of an affair. But the truth always comes out on BillyMasters.com - the site that always shows guys in their scanties (or less). If you have a question burning deep inside, send it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before I try to remember a time I didn't lust after Zane! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
You've probably heard the saying - like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Well, let's call Mike Johnson the biggest rat of all (and that's saying something). After the Democrats took control of both the Senate and the House of Representatives, do you know the first thing he did? He picked up what was left of his marbles and went home. While he would obviously no longer be Speaker of the House, he could have been the House Minority Leader. But apparently he's in the minority of people who want that job. He notified his staff of his decision. So, what will he do now? Go home and play with himself, I suppose.
You'd think pretty much everything about the election has been said by now. But there's a story I missed. The Republicans took out an ad attacking Iowa State Auditor Rob Sand, who was running for governor. They learned that Sand previously had a modeling career. And, naturally, he has some risqué photos. JD Vance even referred to him as an "underwear model", as if that's a bad thing. Why are Republicans so obsessed with male nudity? Who do they think they are...Billy Masters? So, I did what I always do - did a deep dive. And you know what I found? Some shots in his portfolio which show considerably more skin than you'd see on an Afterschool Special (if, indeed, Afterschool Specials still exist). But were they lewd? Not really. Some of the photos showed up in attack ads, paid for by Sand's opponent, Zach Lahn. Result? Rob Sand is the new governor of Iowa. I guess sex sells!
Alas, sex wasn't enough to help Chris Gallant beat out the incumbent Nicholas LaLota for New York's First Congressional District. You'll recall that some of Gallant's private BDSM photos from the past went public - courtesy of the opposition, naturally. I think it actually helped Chris' campaign. It was a close race, but ultimately LaLota retained his seat by less than three percentage points. Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Chris Gallant.
Even though the Kennedy Center is shuttered, the Kennedy Center Honors are still slated to take place on December 7th, of all days. Some people say you shouldn't accept the honor under the current regime. But some people ain't me. I hold no ill will against Paul Anka, David Foster, Andy Garcia, David Mamet or Barbara Mandrell, who are this year's honorees. Any chance of coaxing Irlene and Louise out of retirement is OK by me. Perhaps the telecast (if there is a telecast) will be sponsored by White Rain!
Headlines can sometimes be misleading. Like this one: "Massachusetts Teachers Union Plans Drag Show at Conference Next Month". Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it makes it sound like a random drag show is popping up at a teaching event. In fact, the "conference" in question is their first LGBTQ+ Conference, where the theme is "Celebrating All with Pride". "Programming includes sessions on workplace safety, intersectionality, support for transgender students, and advocacy/lobbying training." The drag show in question is being presented by Mz. Clementine KuLayd and takes place on November 13th - if you're in the neighborhood.
Then there was this headline: "Todd Chrisley Became Escort at 18 After Working at Cheesecake Factory". I expected some grand revelation, a sordid story about a businessman paying to have a bit of Todd with extra whipped cream. But here's what Chrisley said on the Dumb Blonde podcast: "I was 18 and I ended up waiting on this table of women, and I got an $800 tip." After his shift, he spied a limousine outside. The chauffeur walked over to Todd and said, "My lady would like to speak with you, you were their server this evening." She lowered the back window and said, "Great service tonight...where are you heading?" He told her, and she said, "Get in, I'll drop you off." Todd finishes the story by saying, "Well, she didn't drop me off. Let's just say that it turned into a very quick encounter that I'm thinking as the sunroof was open, 'I'm banging this woman as we're driving through LA. This is every dream I've ever had.'" It sounds more like a dream he had and less like anything real that he experienced. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. BTW, he told this whole story while his gleeful "wife" was sitting there.
Didya hear - the musical The Fantasticks is heading back to New York. The original off-Broadway production ran 42 years and closed in 2002. It returned in 2006 and ran until 2017. Now it's back - but this time on Broadway itself. It opens on November 16th and is scheduled to run until February 7th (for now). This new production also has a twist - the romantic leading couple has changed from Matt and Luisa to Matt and Lewis. Yes, a same-sex couple. What hasn't changed is the role of the Narrator, called El Gallo. He'll be played by our very own Zane Phillips. As a preview, a video of Zane singing the iconic "Try to Remember" can be found on BillyMasters.com.
We have some good news for those of you who haven't had a chance to see The Rocky Horror Show on Broadway. It has extended through May 30th. And our very own Margaret Cho is taking over as the Narrator.
Since I'm still overseas, I have a few more theatre reviews to share. First is a new translation of The Cherry Orchard at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London's West End. This past summer, the Chekhov play was staged by the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford-upon-Avon with Helen Hunt, Kenneth Branagh and Bill Pullman. While it's odd to have two productions of the same play in quick succession, it seems the critics preferred the version I saw. This translation by Conor McPherson was witty, moving, and relevant to today's world. Kristin Scott Thomas appears in the pivotal role of Lyubov. I'm not a fan of her films, but onstage I find her incandescent. She presents enormous vulnerability without losing her steely resolve. And she has a faint patrician air about her that is reminiscent of a young Siân Phillips. The play was uniformly well-cast, but special kudos to Stephen Mangan, who made the role of the serf-turned-master into a multi-layered and conflicted character.
Then there was Jesse Tyler Ferguson in Tru. His tour de force as Truman Capote at the Menier Chocolate Factory was, in a word, exceptional. Another word that applies is magnificent. From the moment he made his entrance, he was no longer the Jesse I knew, nor Mitchell from Modern Family, nor even Mason from Take Me Out. His Truman was a completely different person - not a carbon copy of Capote, but a strong, well-thought-out portrayal of the man. It's clear why people enjoyed spending time with the famed writer and raconteur. In Jesse's capable hands, Capote was entertaining, insightful, dishy (to a point), self-reflective (to a lesser point), and vulnerable. The set design by Paul Farnsworth was also astonishing.
Noah Wyle was recently named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. But the issue also featured scores of other sexy men - sexiest new author, sexiest singer, sexiest soap actor, sexiest talk show host, you name it, they had it. One of those categories was for Sexiest Broadway Debut. When asked who she voted for, Kelly Ripa responded, "Bowen Yang, naturally, for Oh, Mary!". When it was pointed out that the list of candidates included her son, Joaquin Consuelos, for his turn in Death of a Salesman, she shrugged: "I don't see him the way others may see him." Hubby Mark chimed in, "That would be weird." I guess Joaquin didn't need their votes, since he won.
Our Ask Billy question comes from Larry in Florida: "What do you know about Joe Locke? I heard that he was dating his costar, Sebastian Croft, but they broke up because he was cheating. What's the truth?"
This is both an old and complicated story because neither guy is naming names. According to sources, Locke and Croft were secretly dating for close to three years while they were appearing on the series Heartstopper. Allegedly, they broke up back in 2023 under questionable circumstances. Recently, Croft gave an interview to Rolling Stone UK: "I was doing a play in Chichester, and I got broken up with over the phone... This two-and-a-half-year relationship ended that I thought was gonna last forever, as lots of people's first loves did." He says he used the experience as inspiration for his EP, The Great Forever, which comes out on November 13th. He hasn't named Locke, and Joe has not commented on the subject. But fans noticed that around the time in question, photos of Joe turned up alongside an OnlyFans creator, Nicholas Norris, known online as That.Gay.Guy.Nick. With all the speculation that Norris was a homewrecker, he issued a statement: "They had broken up before we even met, we just hung out a couple of times." You can check out the pics on BillyMasters.com to see what was hanging out.
When Chrisley is a pussyhound, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Frankly, I need more evidence than his word. Same with this Gay.Guy.Nick thing. A photo with someone is scant evidence of an affair. But the truth always comes out on BillyMasters.com - the site that always shows guys in their scanties (or less). If you have a question burning deep inside, send it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before I try to remember a time I didn't lust after Zane! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
