"I was bullied. It was awful. But I learned a lot. I learned how to cope. It taught me things: people are cruel, the world sucks. I grew up. Bullying=Suicide? Personally I blame parents and an entire culture that indulges a childproof world where pain and losing doesn't exist." – Author Bret Easton Ellis sums up my feelings quite well.
I think most of my readers would agree that Darren Criss is a pretty sexy guy. So needless to say, many people were thrilled when I posted some outtakes from his photo shoot for People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" issue which included quite a number of shirtless pics. Amongst the drooling, one of my thousands of Facebook friends said, "Darren Criss is skinny-fat." I had to look that up in the urban dictionary, and it means exactly what you'd expect: "When someone is thin and looks great in clothes, but is all flabby underneath." Well, that seems a bit harsh for little Darren. He may not be toned within an inch of his life, but I'd hardly call him flabby. I, on the other hand, could probably be the poster child for "skinny-fat." And I'm damn proud of it!
Speaking of pride, we just celebrated it here in Fort Lauderdale. Pride South Florida bucks the June trend by having their gay pride in March. One of the hosts was SiriusXM personality Derek Hartley, who I always enjoy cavorting with. One of his weekend duties was hosting a swimsuit fashion show and auction at The Depot to benefit the Pride committee. The models were furnished by FabScout—which meant local strippers and porn pups. And that's where the problems began. When I got there, the show was delayed because of a kerfuffle. One of the models was a very sexy guy named LG. As it happens, he's also the boyfriend of former cop/porn star Mikey Verdugo, who now owns Bodytek Fitness in Davie, FL (new location opening in Wilton Manors any day now). Oh, did I mention LG is one of the trainers at Mikey's gym? Needless to say, they're a mighty hot couple.
Depending on who you ask, either LG or his beau felt it wasn't appropriate for a legit trainer to be lumped in with the porn stars…which is, at the very least, ironic given Mikey's past. To be fair, Verdugo has tried hard to put his porn behind him…but people like me keep bringing it up (what can I say—he's REALLY hot in it). After the other boys were done, LG took to the stage alone. He was, how shall we say, less "interactive" than the other models. But his swimsuit still raised $100. And who was the high bidder? Gasp, Verdugo himself! Mikey got to go home with the swimsuit AND what was inside of it! Seeing the two of them together was great advertisement for the gym. Next time I'm in town, I'll definitely do a workout session with one (or both) of them. Check them out at BodyTekFitness.com. For Mikey's earlier work, go to BillyMasters.com and get comfy—it's ENDLESS.
John Travolta has once again been linked with yet another gentleman in the skin trade. On the cover of The National Enquirer (so take it from whence it comes): "Travolta Caught in Prostitution Scandal! 'John paid me to have sex'—shocking tell-all." Let me share what I remember from reading it in the checkout line. Travolta allegedly booked a "male masseur" that he found on Craigslist. Instead of giving the guy an address, he arranged to pick him up on the side of a road in his Lexus SUV. The gent says that Travolta brought him to the Beverly Hilton (you know, Merv's old place) and offered him $200 for sex. The guy REFUSED…which makes me think maybe he was a legit masseur. Or perhaps he got a good look at Johnny in fluorescent lighting! Anyway, the best part of the whole story is that John allegedly tried to sweeten the pot by saying he could call another guy and make it a three-way! Presumably someone who wasn't fat-fat and possibly had his own hair!
The tabloids are also talking about Warren Beatty and Annette Bening's daughter Kathlyn, who wants to undergo gender reassignment surgery and become Stephen. According to this latest report, the parents are supportive of their child, are paying for school and everything else. They even accept the whole sex-change thing and had a celebratory family dinner. But, allegedly, they will not give Kathlyn/Stephen any money for the surgery. Normally I'd be happy to bash Warren and Annette for pretty much anything, but I dunno. I think perhaps this is expecting a bit too much from a parent. Something tells me Cher didn't pay for Chaz's surgery (although I'm still not sure how Chaz makes a living).
The divine Charles Busch is ready to debut his new play, Judith of Bethulia. The press release promised "lepers, whores, eunuchs, centurions, evil generals, youthful poets, and a beautiful redheaded widow." Frankly, I can never get enough lepers and eunuchs. From the glamorous photo that accompanies the press release, Busch has never been lovelier—or so perfectly cast. As tempting as it all sounds, I had no plans to go to NYC. Plus, Charles' plays always transfer or get extended. Then he wrote me: "This isn't a tryout. This is it! I just thought it would be fun to play a very glamorous role again and in a biblical epic…with slave boys in thongs! So we may only do these 24 performances. It's Mae West in a DeMille epic." Well, how could I miss that? The strictly limited run starts on March 30 at the Theater for the New City. And tickets are only $25. For God's sake—lepers, whores, eunuchs, slave boys in thongs, and Charles Busch. What more do you people want for twenty-five bucks? If you want the added treat of meeting Billy Masters in all his skinny-fat glory, go to the 8 p.m. show on Thursday, April 12. Maybe a cast member will get sick and I can go on as Third Leper to the Left…also in a thong!
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Harlen in New Orleans: "Are you watching 'GCB'? It's SO fabulous. Is the sexy ranch hand coming back? Or will the hot gay husband get gang-banged at a rodeo?"
I think you've got "GCB" confused with GHB! Let's start with Denton Everett, who played Booth Becker, the hot ranch foreman. It was revealed in the second episode that he's been in a three-year relationship with Blake Reilly, played by the gorgeous Mark Deklin (who is even hotter here than in his recurring role on "Hawaii Five-0"). Alas, at the end of that episode they broke up. I guess the chance of Blake being gang-banged is still out there—especially given his fantastic physique. Did you know that this was a reunion for Denton and Mark? They were both on the series "Lonestar." Denton only shot the first two episodes, but he's hoping for more. Of Deklin, he told a reporter, "He's as nice as he is good looking. I could kiss uglier people, I'll tell you that." Tell me more…
When the Beatty family could star in a remake of "I Know My First Name Is Stephen," it's definitely time to end yet another column. I'm headed back to Hollywood…and I'm a little nervous. Between Travolta, Bening, and Beatty, there could be a fatwa on my head. For a few days, I'll limit my socializing to www.BillyMasters.com, a site for sore eyes. If you've got a question that simply needs the attention of the Master, send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Travolta books LG for a "training session" (maybe he can sweeten the pot and ask Mikey to join in). Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.